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Learned-ish

I took bible and religion classes for years (and years.... and years), but it was watching summer camp counselors casually reading scripture on their bed with a well-worn bible on their lap that showed me what it was to dive into God's Word. I went to mass willingly and regularly... but it was the adoration chapel of my high school and a daily practice of seeing our chaplain on his knees before the Eucharist that stirred my heart as never before.  In this way, I

I have degrees, but my greatest lessons on business came (and come) from watching my parents work.  When I was young, my dad would let me sit in on meetings and soak in the processes in front of me.  He never explained my presence in the room.  He never intentionally taught me anything about business (preferring the important items of how to ride a bike, say my ABC's backwards in case of a sobriety test, dock a boat, or balance a checkbook), but he freely let me observe him.... my greatest gift.  My mother works through problems aloud, not really needing my input, but showing me the working of her mind as she navigates issues.  I heard, and so I began to learn.

I grappled with my body my entire life and tried, really tried to make peace with it.  I read and listened and thought until I was exhausted with the effort, and still.... no peace came.  Then, I was able to bask in the glow of a dear camp friend who positively radiated beauty and confidence, unthinkingly letting me sit and learn from her unthinking self-acceptance.  Her permission to herself to be confident, happy, and know herself as loved and lovable game me permission to do the same.  She remains my true North of self-love.  I saw, and so I began to learn.

A college roommate and I could not be more different, but she taught me about clear nail polish to extend my manicure, the singular delight of a signature scent, the gentle approach instead of reproach. Small lessons, but still, I learned. 

My husband still glances at me in surprise whenever I add to a conversation that I don't like how a situation will look, or in the back of my mind I worry what others will think.  He asks, genuinely curious, "What does it matter what anyone thinks?".  It's trickling in, day by day. I'm learning. 

What have you learned?  What are you still learning?  Where did it come from?  Tell me, so I can learn too. 

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